I had my first drink at age 13 and was hooked. I'm now 55 years old and I've had enough!!!!
I was a binge drinker in my teens, 20's, 30's, and 40's , mostly drinking on the weekend's. I would drink way more than any of my friends,once I took that first sip something inside me would want more,more,more!!!
It was never enough until I passed out. All through the years I had friends who would take care of me, take me home get me into bed. Im blessed to still be alive......I would do crazy things in my youth while drunk. Car accidents, taking off with strange men after the bar closed having one night stands . I can't count on both hands or recall who or how many men I slept with 🤔😕.
I've had two failed marriages and I'm on my third. The first two were alcoholics.
I have had my dry spells. During my two pregnancies and raising my girl's and going back to school but, that taste for alcohol never left me. In my forties I started a hospital job that was extremely stressful and that is when my daily drinking started
Coming home i would head straight for the package store for my wine go home and drink until I passed out and get up in the morning go to work go home and start the whole thing over again. In the beginning I was drinking a bottle of wine a night, then 1 1/2 bottles, then 2 bottles, until it reached 2 1/2 over last summer. This went on for 5 years until I was waking up and not feeling well. Some mornings my hands would shake, I had profuse sweating ( that I blamed on menopause), back aches, neck pain, knee pain ( blamed this on getting older),I had chronic diarrhea, hemorrhoids, stomach ulcers,my balance was off and I was falling and hurting myself even when I wasn't drinking. I fell off a pool ladder and broke my rib, I fell into a bochi pit and had a contusion on my shin (these were when I was drunk)
.
My "AHA" moment came when I went to the salon to have my hair done and I was starring into the mirror and I didn't recognize myself
. I was bloated, my face was red i was sweating I looked 6 months pregnant! I thought what the **** am I doing to myself. THIS IS INSANITY
.
That was November 3rd this year I QUIT.
I never really slowed down to take a good look at what I was doing to myself.
I hope this is helpful to some of you out there seeking help. SR has been an eye opener for me.
I am an alcoholic when im drinking and when I m not. There is no such thing as I'll have just one drink or I'll drink just on the weekend. Your only fooling yourself and it's the AV (addicted voice) trying real hard to get you to drink again.
Today is day 39 for me .
I feel : FREE no more anxiety about which package store i should go to today (no not that one i went there 2 days ago).
I feel: NORMAL ,relaxed I sleep better. This may sound strange but, demons would visit me in my dreams and they are gone. I am at peace now.
Thank you soberwolf
for this thread i think it will help someone it helped me to write it .