Originally Posted by
notsosober77 
Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I want sobriety to be something ordinary. The norm, not an achievement.
I've been off and on drinking for so long that I genuinely lost track of the last time I was drinking and stopped. I've been relapsing but with less and less frequency and less intensity each time. When I relapse I remember then that drinking was not as pleasant as it was in my fantasy and more painful than I remembered.
Maybe I won't ever drink again this time and if I don't, I just want it to happen. I don't want to count the days since I quit, I want to forget that I ever thought it was a good idea to drink. I don't want to even have to make an effort to quit. I just want to have an aversion to alcohol, an understanding that it is poison and it hurts to drink it and of course I won't do that again.
Right now, I honestly wonder why I ever did drink and can't recall when that was.
You might want to think about hypnosis. You said you want to have an aversion to alcohol, so that you don't even want it I gather? I've heard that a trained hypnotist can help with this. I haven't actually done that, but I did succeed in greatly reducing my drinking by focusing my mind on all the negative associations that alcohol had for me. I imagine it could have been even more effective with a trained hypnotist. The goal is to actually not want to drink alcohol, like you probably don't want to drink motor oil. You don't even need to think about it, count days, pray about it, think "one day at a time" etc etc. You just become totally free of it.