Originally Posted by PhoenixJ

I am the alcoholic husband that destroyed our marriage. Everything was the world's fault. I am stressed, you don't understand, I got fired, someone at work I don't talk to heard about a friend who committed suicide. Even if my excuses for drinking were real reasons for being stressed- does that make it right or appropriate for me to DRINK to run away from those problems? Is drinking a problem away a better strategy (which it was- planned) instead of talking to my wife as 'normies' do? Or if I am so stressed that I have to drink to find release- talking to my doctor, a counsellor, a social worker is not a better plan? Why not just drink instead of hiding it behind blaming others? Am I such a coward I can't even be an alcoholic by myself? No I have to ruin every body else's lives as well. Besides if my wife felt guilt- that means she if off my back and that gives me valuable drinking time- if I get her really upset I can push this thing out to 2 or even perhaps 3 days of uninterrupted drinking. To get really drunk takes time and effort. That is what I did. I am not saying that is true for you.
What I am saying is you do not have to let yourself feel guilty. You have the right to feel safe, loved, respectedand appreciated. Perhaps talk to someone? There are some good threads at SR which focus on family and friends of addiction in spouses etc.
My thoughts, prayers and support to you and your family. PJ