That sounds like a very difficult situation Stellar, but I have to say your resolve to stay sober and provide for your family by doing so many different things is very inspiring. I'm glad you came here to talk it through and the thoughts of drinking are nothing to be ashamed of, we've all had them.
Regarding your financial situation, I know it is a hard pill to swallow but have you considered checking with local food pantries for some assistance there and maybe with your local housing authority for winter heat/utility assistance? Those programs are out there for a reason and they are designed to help anyone and everyone who needs it. My church hosts a food pantry and we have folks from all walks of life who come for help - some are seasonally unemployed but we don't ask, we just help.
Last edited by ScottFromWI; 12-07-2016 at 03:45 PM.