ItsViolet

I just hit 9 months sobriety and about six weeks ago I started getting really depressed. It waxes and wanes in severity and right now it's pretty immobilizing. I don't have health insurance to see professionals but plan to get coverage starting in January. I don't know if this is a real or just a chemical imbalance caused by alcoholism, like my brain is trying to rewire itself or whatever and will stabilize after some more time.

A major stressor for me is the class I'm attempting to finish and just can't seem to work faster than a snail. This partly triggered the depression in the first place, as I'm usually a good student and I couldn't get anything done. The other trigger had to do with a troubling relationship I was processing.

My recovery work is a lot of work and at this point I feel like it's all I can do right now. I feel that even more than at some earlier times in my recovery. By 9 months I wouldn't have expected finishing this class to be such a big deal. I was doing well until last month when the depression started to get the best of me. I just lose focus again and again. I have to go talk to my teacher. I've taken extra time off of my job too, I'm having trouble being present while I'm there. Then my grandfather passed away and we had the funeral yesterday.

I don't have energy and doing just a little makes me really tired. I write one paragraph or attend one class session and have to take a two hour nap. Even a meeting can be super taxing. I seem to need a lot of extra rest. I also seem to need more meetings than before.

If anybody has anything helpful to say I'd love to hear your ideas and experience. Thanks