TTH......first of all...I am not a therapist.....
However, I agree with her, also......I do believe that there are certain aspects of ourselves that only come out in an intimate relationship.....
For example, I have had lots of close friends that I got along with just great---but, I know that I would not want to be in an intimate relationship with them....the level of expectation just changes sooo much in an intimate relationship.....
There is a book...."The Saber-Toothed Tiger" by Josie Perrine....that makes a point of saying that so metimes, a person can do very well in their other relationships and the abandonment issues, etc..come out only in an intimate relationship....(she explains it much better than I can)....(she is a therapist wh has done lots of work with women who can't bring themselves to leave abusive relationships)......
Because, I agree with your therapist's basic premise....doesn't mean that I think it is inconsistent with my p oint of view......
to me, it seems reasonable, that, if you have issues to work on....that you work on them when you are not in an intimate relationship AND continue to work on them when you do enter into an intimate relationship........
After all....even people who do not have glaring issues that interfere...still have to monitor their own self awareness and insight and make certain adjustments and changes, all along....both partners have to do this....I see it a a natural function and requirement of living with other human beans........
TTH.....lol...you can't be completely F***ed up.....You must have some wonderful and unique qualities that make you, you......
Give me a sign if you think I am right about that!