Addiction sucks. Period. But it doesn't define him. I personally hate the labels. He is a human being with a human problem. All I can say is his recovery is easier than your recovery. His disease stops progressing the day he quits and then recovery begins. My vow to myself is to never let anyone or any situation take my sobriety and with real inner reflection it is a beautiful thing. I check my past like a rear view mirror but spend most of my day looking through the windshield and moving forward. Remember, you may not be good for his recovery and vice versa. Focus on yourself, let him be selfish on his recovery and you may both receive an incredible gift together...a lifetime of peace and serenity as a couple.