Originally Posted by
BeachPlease 
I had to force myself to remember a lot since I left. I remembered things from years ago where he let me down, didn't keep his word, embarrassed me, lied, etc,...
Yes. I posted probably last week about remembering all kinds of stuff. Huge events that I had literally blocked myself from remembering, probably as a coping mechanism. Many of them were recent, as in less than 6 months ago. So it's not a time issue where I've forgotten because it's been years.
Anvil: you're right. He has shown me what he is about and how he handles life. Yet I deny it and listen to his sweet words instead of watching his actions. I am powerless over alcohol, over him, and yes I would describe my life as unmanageable at the moment. It is not how I envisioned. I am disappointed. Frustrated. At him, me, this.