Missy, welcome. That sounds like a very difficult situation. It's hard enough to get and stay sober when you have support. I can't imagine how one would do so when your partner is not-so-subtly encouraging you to continue drinking. My advice would be for you both to go into some kind of treatment program. That was the only way I stopped drinking. Went to an inpatient rehab for 7 weeks and continued on from there. Good luck to you.