Advice needed- what to say, if anything, to kids?
My question for you all is how could or should I have handled this differently? I truly am at the end of my rope w how to deal with insane xAH
So, XAH saw the kids briefly on Fri and texted DD 11 and DD 8 after his visit to say he would sign them up to do a winter sport that I had told them I was unlikely to be able to afford to do. I had explained this privately to XAH and told him to NOT make false promises to them to do it bc I would NOT be able to scramble and pay for it myself if he backed out.
The deadline to sign up/pay is today. The kids and I logged in to see if they are registered so they know whether or not to pack gear for said sport for tomorrow and OF COURSE they are not. I again explained to them that I CAN NOT afford it and that I was sorry they were disappointed etc...
They called XAH (I said it was ok) and asked him if he was going to sign them up (I said that was fine for them to call but told them that they shouldn't get their hopes up).
He told them that he would "look into it" (knowing that today is the deadline) and told them that I am a "bad mother" for "involving them" in an adult issue that is between he and I. He also told them that they need to learn "what no means" and that they are "spoiled brats" for always asking for something. This was all recorded bc whenever they call him it is on speaker at the instruction of the therapist.
I told them to end the call and they left the room crying. He insisted on talking to me and I continued to record it.
He told me that I should not have had the kids call, that it was inappropriate, etc.... I said nothing during his rant except to reiterate that he was the one who had told the kids he would sign them up, that they wanted an answer and that he could simply say yes or no to them.
I thought that having them call was appropriate. Maybe not?
I know in my mind that he is doing this to them to get a reaction from me-- he is hurting them in order to see if he can get a rise out of me-- and it is nearly about to work.
I don't know which end is up anymore and I am at the end of my rope...
Advice?