Over the last 4-5 years my drinking has moved from social weekends to drinking alone. I'm 36 now and I've picked up the habit of drinking wine and smoking marijuana at home alone.
I drink at least a bottle of wine every Friday and Saturday night while watching my favorite shows and smoking pot. Last night I drank two bottles of wine and had two beers after that once the wine ran out.
During the week I can usually abstain from drinking but at least a couple times a month I'll have some beers or a bottle of wine on a week night. I'll get a craving on my way home from work and my car will steer it's self into the grocery store. Once in a great while I'll drink every night of the week. If there's beer or wine in the house I'll drink it, and more often than not once I start I'll drink everything that's there.
A few years ago I was drinking five nights a week, as I was living in the Midwest and doing my best to survive the hellish winters. I've since moved to the southwest so the seasonal depression is gone, thus I don't need the alcohol crutch.
I think now I am just drinking out of boredom. I'm a bachelor that lives alone so boredom is real. I don't feel that I drink out of loneliness as I'm not lonely, just bored. And to be honest alcohol has been such a part of my life style that's its hard to imagine life without it.
I've told myself numerous times that I will stop drinking for 30 days just to see if I notice any changes within myself, but I never make it past a week. I'd like to put an honest effort on doing that this time as I told myself this again this morning. If I can't give it up for a month than I have to seriously consider my options.
I feel that many alcoholics start out where I am at now, so I guess I'm just wondering if anyone can relate or has any thoughts/suggestions.
Thank you
