I'm going to say the same to you as an AA old-timer said to me regarding my dad (when he was driving me mad, as he always does)...
Did she behave differently to how she usually behaves?
(No)
Why did you expect that she'd be different this time?
It really helped me to start to Accept my father. Acceptance isn't about whether they are Right or Wrong. It is not a judgement call. It is about allowing yourself to find some peace. It is about allowing ourselves to book them into a hotel or B&B next time they descend from their homes abroad (my dad has also made his home in another country). Because, you know, she 'deserves it' , and you deserve to not have someone poking your sobriety and marriage with a pointy stick, no matter how much you love them or they love you.
Don't worry. You're nearly there, and you can get back to serenity and normality.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB