Nowsthetime

Hello everybody;

My AV came out today holding my mom's hand. My AV loves to piggy back on my mom...

I need to post or I feel I might drink. My mother has been here for four days. It is always challenging when she comes to visit. She likes to drink and always tells me to "just try it". Annoying because I told her I quit 2 1/2 years ago or more actually but she still ALWAYS offers me booze. My husband also gets very stressed out when she comes and always manipulates everything to make me look like the strict mean one. He also likes to drink and also offers me some and tells me to try it. This happened during Thanksgiving.

I worry about her. She has a fatty liver and drinks. She was in Vacation for 3 weeks and told me that they drank with meals everyday... I worry but what can I say to her? How can I approach it?

Today my hubby and I had an argument and some part of it was in front of my mom. We were at dinner. She and I drove in my car and she said that I treat him badly... I agree that I might have been a little too aggressive or upfront or blunt but I I am not the kind of person that doesn't fight back. I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be able to let things go!!!

I feel sad because she leaves tomorrow and again she leaves with a sour taste. (Last time she didn't get along with my hubby or daughter.) She thinks my husband is great and calm and that I'm nuts and mean but he also has his mean side. She lives is another country...

Sorry for the ddisorganized random post. I didn't post before she came to prepare and now I feel a huge craving... I'm not going to drink and I will work my plan.

Can someone please help me?!?! How can I be less impulsive and reactive? I have anger or something problems... I'm so glad I don't drink anymore because that could have gotten embarrassing if I had been drinking.

Dee74

Hi nowisthetime

I think reacting to someone or something differently takes time.

Unless you've practised it a little you're not going to find serenity instantly at your beck and call.

That doesn't mean you have to drink tho - can you get away for a little while - to your room maybe or a walk round the block?

Just remember 'no thanks' can be a complete sentence, no matter how many times someone asks.

You only have to get through tonight.

If your MIL leaves with a sour taste in he mouth, that's not down to you,.

It sounds like there's been issues between you both for a long time.

Do you remember this link? Maybe some of the suggestions here will help you tonight?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Next time something like this happens you can be way more prepared
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D

Acheleus

Try to take a deep breath and remember NO ONE can make you drink. When I have cravings I call someone in recovery, think about the good things in my life, and wait.

One thing I have learned is that sometimes I have to just wait. And wait. Try to be patient and know that you don't have to automatically react to everything that bothers you.
People can drive us crazy but we can stay sober and strong. I hope you get through this and feel better soon.

Soberandhealthy

Look at this IDMDFD it stand for it doesn't ******* matter don't drink.

Don't drink period dont make a bad thing worts and good luck!

Nowsthetime

I came to bed at 9am which is also sad bc she (my mom) leaves tomorrow and she lives in another country so we didn't spend the last night together. I'll see her in January for a wedding where we are from.

I need patience!!! Wish I could just be quiet. I need temperament control.

Came to bed and hour and a half ago...

Nowsthetime

If I drank I would definitely fight worse with my husband. Probably physically.

I have to drive my mom to the airport at 4:30.

neferkamichael

Nowsthetime, please don't drink, we are all rootin for ya.

Delilah1

You were smart to come here and post, and also to remove yourself from the situation, sometimes that is the best thing to do in the moment.

Is it possible to have a conversation on the phone with your mom before you see her in January about how you are feeling?

newhope01

I dont have any advice but I wanted to say I found your post helpful. Its nice to know someone else is fighting cravings and doing so successfully.

Berrybean

I'm going to say the same to you as an AA old-timer said to me regarding my dad (when he was driving me mad, as he always does)...

Did she behave differently to how she usually behaves?

(No)

Why did you expect that she'd be different this time?

It really helped me to start to Accept my father. Acceptance isn't about whether they are Right or Wrong. It is not a judgement call. It is about allowing yourself to find some peace. It is about allowing ourselves to book them into a hotel or B&B next time they descend from their homes abroad (my dad has also made his home in another country). Because, you know, she 'deserves it' , and you deserve to not have someone poking your sobriety and marriage with a pointy stick, no matter how much you love them or they love you.

Don't worry. You're nearly there, and you can get back to serenity and normality.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB

AnvilheadII

i swear i hear just a bit of Seinfeld - Serenity Now! Serenity Now!

i heard long ago one thing to NEVER pray for was Patience....because you'll get "opportunities" to use it in spades!

remember, there are no style points in recovery......we get thru however we can, whatever it takes, as long as we don't drink.

Mountainmanbob

You will find peace and more love within your marriage if you stay sober.

After a while we notice that there is now very little drama in our sober lives and we wish to never return to those wasted days.

Good luck,
M-Bob