Originally Posted by
sauerkraut 
Thus I think maybe us giving up on them is a step on their road to recovery, too. At some point they will wake up and realize they are sick and we're not there to blame anymore. Or not; how freeing it is to leave them to their own journey rather than continuing to ride the rollercoaster.
That's exactly what happened with me. I left my last ex for non-alcohol related reasons (I was the alcoholic, not him), and I assumed that leaving the stress of that relationship would allow me to get my drinking under control. It took me another two and a half years for it to sink in that *I* was the problem with my life, and the drinking was all on me, nobody else.