Sorry to hear you have so much on your plate. Glad to hear you are seeing a doctor soon. I know plenty of people, myself included, who are involved in AA and have also given up caffeine and nicotine. Rock bottom is a personal definition. I have never been arrested, am a professional, have kept most of my relationships intact yet my decision to quit came because my "rock bottom" meant that I was slowly becoming dysfunctional and unable to keep up with my daily schedule. I believe that working the 12 steps can alleviate many of your borderline traits. My suggestion to you would be doctor and detox, AA meetings, finding a sponsor to help guide you through the steps, seeing a therapist as adjunct treatment, and, obviously, abstaining from alcohol and any other mind altering drugs. Eventually, you may also begin to see life more optimistically and focus on the positives in life rather than just dwell on the negative parts. I wish you all the best. The solution is right in front of you to take!