I told him I did not want this and would not accept him swapping one substance for another. Now that I am faced with him actually doing it, I am lost
this is why we need to be clear within ourselves regarding our boundaries and/or ultimatums. now you have to decide if you are going to stand behind your statement, or let him violate your boundary and do nothing. i don't think you are "lost" - you are just now faced with some tough decisions.
I don't want this to be my life. IT IS.
I want him sober and healthy, I want us to be the couple werected. Those are not the choices HE is making.
I want my daughter to have her family. make sure you aren't projecting your own wants/needs onto your daughter. how old is she? children survive parental breakups all the time.....and sounds like the family unit has been suffering with HIS addictions for some time.