Thanks Brenda, I totally relate to what you're saying. There was a lot of hurt and trauma for me growing up, and I believe it's been with me every step of every day. I have a deep-seated fear of being rejected and/or abandoned, and it plays out in almost every close relationship I've ever had. My maladaptive behaviour was to shut people out of any part of myself that could be seen as a 'negative', and only show them the part of me that I thought was acceptable. And people in my life have been hurt by that, because I didn't *trust* them to share my whole self. It wasn't that I wanted to lie to anyone. I just didn't want them to know the truth, if that makes any bizarre sense.