Originally Posted by
PennyLane76 
Not feeling it today at all, not one bit. I'm very annoyed I cannot have wine on Thanksgiving. I'm going to visit my oldest and best friend (since age 7!) And we are going to a good restaurant. Its the setting I most enjoy wine and rarely would have more than a glass or two. I just have to keep the blackouts, home accidents, ER visits, bottle hiding, self hatred top of mind. I found a bottle in the garage just the other day. What a horrible existence that was. Im still pissed in advance about Thanksgiving tho. Going to take one of my emergency sleeping pills from my precious stash now, this mood needs to go. Nite all! Lee, hope you get some sleep too!
Yaaaassss!!! So me, what you described. We are going out to the city club and it will be lovely. I am not worried about the wine part (I totally used to be the person you just described there) and I DO need to remember just this, even though I feel secure in my sobriety (
right now). My devotional today was about just this- we need to remember where we were and how awful it was, to keep us right sized as we say in AA. I found a crystal glass with red wine dregs in it a week or so ago- hidden, of course, in the back of the collection in the cabinet. I decided NOT to wash it out, and put it right back - so I will find it whenever I move and have another reminder!!!
Nine months! Feels great. I have so much support and truly felt great yesterday when my sponsor told me how incredibly devoted I am to my program. Words like "dedicated," "thoughtful" and "invested" are those I want to be as far as my program is concerned!!
Work has been great and not just because it has been profitable (which it really needed to be so there's that!). Handling things....evenly. Need to take that mindset into the two days I will have with Cliff and the part we will be with my family. Had some upheaval- mostly internal but also a little with my mom- in the past couple of weeks, dealing with classic AA mind of "being disturbed." Must stay true to my program. Lots of meetings with timely topics for me in the past week!
Happy Tu to all - weird random thought- how quickly Fat Tues itself will be upon us! I am not a big Mardi Gras etc person (never was- more raised in the Lent part of all that) but just had a flash to future conversations about other "drinking holidays."
Take care everyone-
A
PS OT! The colds. Sheesh. Already with two plus the strep in the past two months- probably need to gird up for more this winter. Take care of yourself.