Originally Posted by
qtpi 
You are half way there! Hope your dogs are improving. I remember boatloads of guilt before I left - and the guilt shrunk to just a little bit as soon as I left. Of. course, I did not deserve to feel guilty at all and neither do you!
Thank you qtpi, I think as the day is approaching the more guilty I feel but perhaps that's mixed in with a bit of sadness too as at the end of the day I'm leaving someone I did love and have spent many years with.
The day I was initially going to go, before my dogs got ill I made the decision only a few days before, 12 days gives me more chance to think, imagine and get nervous. When I've gone before it's been sudden and unexpected and I've been p****d off. This time I'm not p****d off, had enough yes, but I'm picturing him walking through the door realising I've gone and how he will feel. That won't stop me though. He's not cared how I feel each and every time he's chosen a drink over me, which is daily.