Hi Dandylion ...
Originally Posted by
dandylion 
The deepest, fondest desire of the addicted is to be able to drink "normally"---just the way non-alcoholics are able to do. The idea of giving up their old friend..their security blanket..their zone of comfort....The very thing that has allowed them to cope with their feelings and emotions (good and bad) for years is a terrifying idea.
It would be l ike taking water from a fish or wings from a butterfly.
Alcoholics drink to get the feeling....to feel better. AND...moreover...after a few years...their entire life becomes organized around the ability to drink.
Oh this ! That is spot on !
Originally Posted by
dandylion Without the desire to change their lives and a willingness to begin steps to do that...it seems that everything that blocks the ability to drink and get the familiar good feeling benefits....the alcoholic will move away from....
Those are very wise words. I can relate to this in a couple of ways ...
At one point, my ex was addicted to some prescription medication which she had been prescribed by her doctor. She asked me to help her get off this medication by me holding the bottle of medication so that she could only take it when she was supposed to. Each day she would come to me at the times she was supposed to take this medication, and I would give it to her.
I was happy to help her with that, but within a few days of me starting to do that, she became very agitated towards me.
I spoke to my therapist about it, who told me that because my ex was addicted to that medication, that by me being the one who had the bottle of medication, that her addiction saw me as standing between it and the medication it wanted. So I had inadvertantly become the enemy of the addiction. Her addiction blamed me for not being able to have that medication whenever it craved it.
My therapist immediately suggested that I give the bottle of medication back to her and let her manage her doses herself. I was nervous about her having the whole bottle, so we reached a compromise on it where she had a few day's medication to manage on her own, but not the whole bottle. As soon as I did that, my ex's anger towards me subsided.
Similarly, when I was insisting that my ex needed alcohol rehab, I became the enemy of her alcohol addiction. If you think of an addiction like a separate entity, I was the main person standing between my ex's alcohol addiction and it's ability to go on getting the alcohol it craved.
Originally Posted by
dandylion Addiction involves powerful compulsions ---cravings...This originates in the brain function (once addiction is established). This is a hard situation to get a handle on and manage. (manage--it is never "cured").....
On that point, there is a brilliant video series by Dr Fred Von Stieff about the physiological and neurotransmitter changes in the brain as a result of drinking and addiction here ...
https://www.youtube.com/user/DrFredVonStieff/videos
Dr Todd Carran also has a 6 part lecture series about addiction and relapse here ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kpOod1xlb0