Thanks guys, once again.
Gianna, I know what you're saying and you're so right on with it. I believe he was told to be there on Monday, too, and just made it seem to his family that it was okay for him to show up on Wed. night. He mave HAVE drove out there just to make it "look good", like he tried, but it wasn't HIS fault, they just wouldn't let him in. (his thinking and rationalization).
When I first heard that,........yeah, I was livid!! And, yeah, Minnie.....scared. I SO prayed that he would take this 2nd chance on life and go for it. Now,....he may say "well, I'm on the top of the list for when a bed comes available. I'll just call on Monday again", but who's to say when another bed will become available? How long is that gonna take and since he gave up his apartment, he'll be staying with lil sis who enables him like all get out.
His probation officer is NOT gonna buy his crap. Sooner or later, he will go to jail and that may be what it's gonna take to show him that he cannot manipulate they system and everyone around him. The problem with jail is.....he won't get much rehab in there and may come out worse after 9 months than he is now. County jails aren't pretty. THey have real street knowledge people in there and they all can get drugs if and when they want them.
No,......I can't go through another up and down, flip flop week full of messages from him pre-jail. This last week for me, while believing he was at the farm, was SO good for ME. I got to do the things that I did before I met him, got back into my exercise routines, went out and got a make over, starting doing the things I love again and it is SO NICE! I'm losing weight! I liked it. I don't wanna go back to living only for xabf and having him pull me up and down. I'm not getting into that at all. I don't want it back.
If he calls, since I know he's "out in the world" now, I'll make a goal to delete them. More than anything, I'm just so upset that he didn't go for his one chance at a good life change. ANd, it shows me that he doesn't want it that badly. That sucks. For him, his girls......it just sucks.