I has these same quandaries, BC. (I just waking up from 35 year coma, my self.) For me, here what I figure out so far: If I stressing or anxious or twisted up about situation/person/relationship/unresolved blobbity blah... stop. It not time to figure that one out. Just keep chop wood and carry water in your sobriety. There gonna come some later, calmer, wateverer moment, where decision come clear or unfold on it own.
Just today I reconnect with friend that I not think I gonna reconnect with cuz sooo much time had go by, and we total estranged, and she all love & light, and I all cynical & snark, and maybe is no good for me to be in her life anyways, and maybe she purposeful not call me all this time to get away from me, and plus also I psss off she not care enough to see how I doing, and does I even want her in my new life, and what should I do and so on and so forths.
I ruminate on this long time (but, to be fair, cows is ruminate animals). Anyways, today, out of nowhere, with barely a thought, she come to my mind and I just pick up phone and dial her and say, is anybody missing a friend over there? And we has very honest conversation about whether is right and good to reconnect.
In many spiritual tradition, even dating back to ancient man, I believe this life-changing philosophy is refer to as ... ... go with the flow.