If you aren't in crisis mode you can google detox facilities in your area and call them directly. They may or may not need a drs referral. You can also set up an apt with you primary care dr who may or may not give you meds for home detox. Your insurance company also can give you information about the facilities that they contract with. If you need help asap, go to the ER, they can help you there and get you into a detox facility....but be ready to go from there.
Yes, a medically supervised detox from alcohol will involve benzos like Ativan. I certainly smoked a lot of pot in my youth but never developed a true physical addiction. I don't know what they do for that. But if you check into a detox facility they should help you with sleep and other psychological issues.
But it all starts with drs, either at the ER, your GP, or a detox facility. Good luck and sorry for your loss.