Hitting a Rough Patch
So, last night, I went to drop off dog food for the xabf. He had declared on Halloween when he attended trick-or-treating that he hadn't fed the dog food in at least 2 days. He did not have the money to buy a bag of dog food. I sent him home with some from my mom's house as we were in her neighborhood with the kids. I then went and bought a bag and dropped it off to him last night.
Before leaving for his house which is a 30 minute drive, I asked if he would like to see our son for 10 minutes or so, me see the dog, inside his house. He said OK. When I got there, his new gf was there with him. They were both outside in the car. I am assuming they were outside because he told me his roommate doesn't want his gf in the house (doesn't want drama) when he is there. I pull up and he is standing outside of her car, she is inside.
I had so many overwhelming feelings. I felt hurt and betrayed that he thinks nothing of me and our son in his 'new relationship'. I mean, how hard is it to be alone for 10 minutes? How hard could it have been to ask her to run down the street for 10 little minutes? I could not imagine bringing my new 'bf' (which i don't have) to the same vicinity as he was in 6 weeks after a break-up of a 10 year relationship.
I ended up stopping, pushing out the dog food and taking off. Maybe someday I will be able to be in the same room as this other woman. However, 6 weeks post break-up is just too soon. Am I crazy to not want to be around his new gf? Then he says to me on the phone that it is OK for him to have her around our son or me or whatever because he met her at work as opposed to meeting her online. He was insinuating that 1. we met online and therefore the 10 years didn't count (?) and/or 2. the last time we broke up, I dated people from online so I suck. Basically, the theme in every conversation with him is I suck.
Why oh why did I let this guy get so far into my head? I seriously do fine when I don't see him. After this weekend, I am not reaching out to him anymore at all to see our son. If he wants to see him, he can call me and arrange it. Any suggestions for sharing custody in this situation?
I am keeping a mental checklist (and a physical one) of ALL the reasons why he was not any good for me. There isn't one reason why he was good for me.