Hi Friends,
I’m going to try to get my point across without making this too long or confusing
I’m currently a Social Worker in Adult Services. I have been with this county for 10 years, and in my current position for 3. I feel good about a lot of the things our Department has been able to do, and people we’ve been able to help, with the limited resources of a small community.
But there recently was a situation I don’t feel great about. I could have / should have done more and been more proactive, and another community agency is not happy with our Department now. (It is over now and ended fine, but took longer than it should have to get to that point.)
The Social Services Director, who was aware of the situation, was called out in a public meeting about it. This sort of thing has happened before, but this is the first time I really have this nagging feeling of, yeah… I should have done things differently.
There are of course other things I’d like to blame it on, like Department systemic issues… chronic lack of direction from supervisors…. Lack of action from other agencies, who probably could have and should have done more too. Those things all play a part, but the bottom line for me is that I’m not happy with the way
I did things. I don’t like feeling inadequate at my job… the place I spend 40 hours per week of my life. I don’t like feeling as though people in the community think that I or my Department because of me, am not doing a good job. My Superiors have expressed only support and understanding, but I know they know there’s more I could have done, and I don’t like feeling as though I’ve disappointed them.
Basically I just feel really sh!tty right now. I feel like crying.
I want a new job (although I’ve felt like that for a long time… not just because of this).
I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want to be at home with my kids… I spend so much on daycare anyway, sometimes I feel like maybe I should just quit and get a part time job… maybe it would be better for me financially anyway… but I have a ton of debt to pay off.... and I get benefits, and I'm mostly comfortable here and I don't like change..... I don’t know, I just really feel like crap right now and I don’t know who to talk to about it.
Thank you for listening.