Telling me you're staying at a friends or taking a cab because you know it's what I want to hear, and driving home anyways.
Waiting for a text or call all day as the knot in my stomach grows and grows. Wondering what you're doing, knowing you're out drinking, somehow shocked we are "here" again.
Putting my life on hold because you don't like to make plans in advance. Waiting and hoping each day you would want to see me and keeping my schedule open just in case.
Worrying about what you're doing when you're out. Remembering all the stories you have told me from the past and feeling sick.
Loving you so much when you're sober and hating you so much after you pass that drink marker and become "him".
The love and hate are still both there, but the daily disappointment and attachment have subsided.