Yeah, I felt the same way about meetings. Ultimately I decided it wasn't productive or healthy for me to live in the past and hear sob story after sob story. Plus, it kept the focus on drinking rather than doing other things with my time -- even if it was only talking about drinking. AA isn't for everyone but many people find the meetings and structure helpful. I went to (non 12 step) inpatient rehab and learned how to deal with life without drinking.