Hi BD1975,
Many of us here have been in similar situations. All you can do is help yourself. Since you say you're suffering from anxiety, have you taken any steps (exercise, fresh air, meditation) to try to calm your mind and heart? I learned to meditate while coming to terms with my STBXAH's addiction, and it really helped me distance myself from his craziness. It also defused his craziness because when he got loud and abusive, I was able to focus on my breathing and mentally evade his anger.
Our counselor said the same thing as yours: so long as he's in active addiction, there is no working on the marriage. It's been almost a year since I left him, and so far as I know, he's still an active addict.
Keep reading and posting; it helps.