I am hoping for the best for you. I left my AH in May after 33 years of marriage and his counselor also said he wasn't ready to quit drinking really. He said he would quit but he wouldn't throw the alcohol away or go to AA and there had just been too much damage this year. so sad - because there were many good times and he had good qualities. After a hurtful incident- to put it mildly-I wanted my STBXAH to see an addiction counselor- and he waffled on it for 19 days- until I moved into the guest bedroom and refused intimacy. then he agreed to go but wouldn't let me come along- he wouldn't go to aa or throw the booze away. he was giving me a little crumb and hoping I would come back and he could just keep drinking and keep me too. now family and friends tell me he is no longer drinking but i think - if i know him- he is probably drinking in secret - and telling himself he isn't hurting anybody but himself. he would become verbally abusive - but not all the time- his health was affected- he would become morose and unkind and admitted to me he resented how happy i was all the time- while he was miserable- but he just couldn't see the alcohol was making him miserable. He is so in denial he has sent me a couple of letters offering to forgive me for leaving!!!! I think he may really believe he has done nothing that should distress me so much- so what if he gets drunk, becomes loud and obnoxious- so what if he refused to get me medical help when i needed it- who is perfect?