Sasha
Please be kind and gentle with yourself....Right now you are very furgile, physically and spiritually....You need time to heal, re-group and then decide WHERE YOU NEED to be...
Somehow I always thought I had to have all the anwsers right now...I think it's called instant gradification...I now know that mostly, I need to quiet my waters so to speak, stop the committee from talking in my head, get off the merry go round called alcoholism and listen for the voice of my Higher Power.
Love and prayers