Edit.
I'm only posting here because deep down i KNOW i must stop drinking because of how I use it in my head.
What I'm asking is how to replace 30 years of fun/reward/easy self-confidence in a glass, without anything to replace it with except nervousness.
(I'm 42, and already been through years of CBT therapy for my drug/gambling addiction btw. Is it just about being a failed human being and finding an addiction that does the least damage?)
I am a man who has massive low self-esteem issues but conflicted with a massive ego. The friction between the two makes me want to get out of my mind to avoid my damn mind.
mike