Wow, your story sounds so much like my own. I have been through the sober months (1 to 4) time and time again only to once again pick up and bring back the misery.
I had to go back and see what I did wrong or unwise. The pattern I've identified is not keeping the memory fresh of my inability to process alcohol like many social drinkers do.
Bottom line is I can't safely have just one and get away with it so why bother? Just accept it as fact and have it burned into my subconcious that just can't drink and my sober life is so much better than my drinking life ever was and in so many ways.
I won't elaborate on that right now but wholeheartedly wish you sustained success on your sober journey. 25 days sober today.