Maribell

Ok so im back again,,quit , relapse, quit, relapse.. this has been going on for years. I stayed sober this time for about 3 months,, with me i gain the confidence that i can have "1" drink, after all , i quit for 3 months, i deserve it. Well that 1 drink turns into a two week bender. It take every ounce of willpower to stop the cycle,, as my mind and body is screaming for it. I usually go through 2-3 days of withdrawal, shaking, chest pain, insomnia, its awful. I really want to stop..and i can but i always start up again. Its really quite twisted as when i dont drink im up at 5am and in the gym with my trainers 5 days a week, ive competed in fitness competitions, and have done triathalons. Its like dr. jekyl and mr. hyde. Night and day. Anyways im back i need the support from each and everyone of you, and am so thankful for this site. I dont crave alcohol when i stop , andi can be around people who drink and it doesnt bother me. My problem is when i start , i dont stop.

Ive been to AA ,, really did nothing for me. Im going to get into our community addiction counselling , which is free, on Tuesday. Ive done this previously as well. But ill give it another go, as i need someone to talk to one on one. They also have group meeting and various workshops. All i want is my life back. Im not sure what this SMART thing is , but ill look it up. I want to live a sober life,, as that is when i am happiest.

Thanks for listening!