I guess probably is not the right word. I KNOW that I won't drink and don't ever want to again, I never did want to get back into drinking. My cravings show up out of no where. This passed relapse I had no intention of drinking. I was on my way to the grocery store and it started raining. I passed a gas station and it hit me. I won't be able to work outside, I'll be alone, and I turned around. I was pretty upset with myself as I was checking out but I did it anyway. No drinking is not morally OK with me. I fantasize now about 5 years passing by and saying man, it's great to be sober and maybe this memory I've created for myself will die.