Hey roman
Alcoholism is ugly. Demoralizing, agonizing. But you don't have to do this again.
Have you thought of a f2f program like AA or Celebrate Recovery? Your higher power isn't sick of you. He just wants you to get into recovery and walk a path that is in line with your values.
Telling your wife? Um, think long and hard about that one. The only thing I can say is if you weren't, ehem, careful you may want to get checked out by a dr. Know what I'm saying?
Hang in there.