Thanks for saying really got me in tears, sorry for being so emotional but I'm a wreck right now. Just looking at my son brings me to my knees, I can't allow him to see his dad die in his 40s. I just want forgiveness, the book says if you ask he will grant forgiveness I just don't feel forgivin, I suppose it will take the better part of the year to get guilt relief, I just can't allow myself to be tempted to drink ever again. 3 years down the drain, my peace, my vows, my outlook on life down the drain in a matter of seconds.