Aellyce & EndGame, you are both on the mark. In fact, just today as I was wasting away in my bed I thought to myself "what am I doing here?" I came here and initially lived something out of a fairytale. Now, I am just sinking into the ground. There is nothing for me here. I don't see my heavy drinking friend anymore. She has now upped her gambling and I don't do that so I don't hang around in the slot machine room with her. My boyfriend is trying his hardest and is really being great but he can't be everything to me. I have my work, but it is all from home so I rarely interact with other people. I do have English lessons that force me to be with others but it is nothing I feel passionate about. I could go on and on but I am just whining here. The truth is I don't like it here. But would I like it anywhere?
My children's father would fight me to the teeth should I bring up moving back to the US. I have to do something here to make my life better. It does come in spurts. I have my moments of joy. But for the most part I am miserable.