Thanks for the welcome everyone. I've made it through the day without drinking anything . Days 1-3 are usually easy for me. That "never again phase". It gets hard after that. I'm past the phase in my drinking where I justify picking up again . I'm at the point where I absolutely know I should not do it , even feel sadness as I buy my supply , but do it anyways . I'm trying to come up with a plan. I'll be reading here , reading the Big Book, and trying to start off with some online AA meetings .