This behaviour is not only typical, it seems to be a mandatory of any "respectable" A.
I went through this for years with XAH, and now going through it again. To the point of him pointing out error of my ways and how I contributed to divorce. I responded that yes, I filed it because he drank, drove out son drunk, cheated, and I no longer could have him for my life partner. He responded with tirade of how I abused him for years. Example of abuse was me reminding him to deal with his student loans was considered abuse. Because "I was so negative". I did not hug him enough. I made him drink. I did not respond much just said ok.
The whole dialogue ended up with him in tears.
Oh and his debt collectors are still calling me, and I was called a "cold awful B@ch" for giving them his new number.
It is a long hard road.
Step far far away from this married messed up man, he has nothing he can give you. Stay away for a while - you will gain a whole new perspective.
You deserve much more than this!