Yeah, I think boundaries and stopping pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, including our own often ramp things up with them.
Their only level of realization there, is that their old tactics don't work, and they need to try harder to get things back to where they used to be, so they can keep living their lives the way they want to.
If you are detaching and taking care of you in hopes that he will wake up, you are probably in for as much disappointment as you would be if he quit drinking, just to save your relationship.
It just doesn't work that way.
The most honest I think I ever was in my 5 year relationship with an alcoholic came at the end - 'I have to leave because your drinking combined with my personality turns us both into crazy people.'
That was when I finally admitted TO ME that I needed to take care of myself - and I finally meant it.
And he was shocked.
And he quit drinking!
For maybe 50 something days.
And then I went no contact, because I was finally serious, and desperate enough to change it.
And he moved someone else into his place a few weeks later. THAT is how serious he was about quitting drinking, for us.
Be careful if you are hoping that taking care of you will lead him to change.