It takes time to recover from traumatic events, and while in his head, he feels fine and wants things to be "normal", it's only natural for you to be more cautious - after all, this sounds like a recurring theme. I don't know much about true recovery, but I would think that it would involve some measure of understanding that the other party went thru while the A was checked out. I'm afraid I don't know if there's any way to convince your partner that you're not punishing him by being distant, but protecting yourself from future disappointment :-(