I think loneliness and being a lone wolf is a very common thing for addicts. It certainly is for me.
When I went to treatment 6 weeks ago I was surrounded by addicts, nurses and counselors. I was literally only alone when I went to the bathroom
To my surprise I was really happy. I could talk openly about what a crazy person I am. I could share about my alcoholism and not get judged. I was being me for the first time in a very long time.
I, like you, am a solitary person. I drink alone. My experience in treatment made me realize in spades that I need people. I need people in recovery. And I cannot do this alone. I have been sober for up to 2 years, with lots of other spans in between, but I truly believe that long term recovery, for me, will only work with a community of others in recovery.
I don't know if you can re-frame your thinking when you go to AA. All that is a required is a desire to stay sober and recover. You don't have to share....although eventually, if you want support and friendship, you will need to open up...to someone. I believe that will be the case no matter where you decide to make connections. May as well open up where people completely understand you. Just my thoughts.
I completely relate to how you feel. I applaud you for your abstinence and hope you can find a community of friends. You certainly have a virtual one here
