Hi RAL, You are so amazing to come here and post. What a strong thing to do. And what a great community we have to welcome you and support you in this difficult time.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I had a relapse at 5 months- nothing near to your sober time and I still feel devastated over it.
I know that a lot of people here are anti-medication but if you are really having majorly obsessive thoughts what about speaking to your doctor about some of the medications on the market that can help with these obsessions. I have heard amazing things about naltrexone and wanted to try it myself as it seemed to be #1 amongst alcoholics, but unfortunately was not available where I am. I did take Campral for a while and while it is no magic cure- you have to have the will and put in the work- it does take the edge off. My cravings were less frequent and much less strong, entirely manageable if I chose to manage them. In addition, the obsessive thoughts were nearly wiped out. I only had to deal with the occasional craving, which again was less strong and lasted a shorter amount of time.
It might be worth considering as something to give you a little boost to get back at it.
The other option is of course antabuse which you absolutely cannot drink on. I have taken this as well and it has built me some sober time.
My personal preference though if for the Campral as I felt I was participating in my recovery more. The choice was mine to drink or not to drink, I just had a little help making the right choice.
Best of luck to you, stick around.