EndGame, one more thing comes to mind.
You mentioned you thought it more likely I'd be the one to hoard...
Well, as a child I'd keep my room immaculate. I placed all my things in specific places and kept them in order. I placed them just so. I preferred order. And I'm sure it was because of life with an alcoholic mother, which was quite chaotic at times. No real big surprises there.
Ok, so I have always kept my things neatly, in specific locations. Everything has its place. Before Brian moved into this house, I knew where every single item was located. Every single one.
So you can imagine having clutter fill my home is ... maddening to me. What I've had to do is recreate the situation as before when I was a kid, I have my own bedroom, bathroom, and now, office. I had to fight him, over time, to keep him out of my areas. I only asked he not put the clutter in these three rooms.
I have managed mostly to keep him out. I do find fresh clutter piles, but I either move them, or ask him to remove them.
We are nearly opposites with our living environment.
The worst part of it (aside from the visual assault) is that now, I no longer have the luxury of knowing where all my items are located. He has ruined that system. And for me, that creates anxiety. It's a time-waster for me, and that really angers me.
We are fueling anxiety in one another.