Originally Posted by
Talkinandwalkin 
I don't know if you guys ever saw an old Seinfeld episode about even Steven. The plot was what ever happens to Jerry he comes out at least as good as he was previously. I am the embodiment of even Steven since quitting drinking. After quitting I took time off from my consulting gig to get right and was offered a higher paying job with a national company. After doing that for a year I recently ventured into a startup and I am making the same on average as with the national company. My relationship with my kids is ten times as good as it ever was.
Here's the rub my marriage absolutely sucks! I cannot get even Steven since quitting drinking. It's not like constant arguing it's like dead without anything. Like two strangers. Can anyone relate?
I find my marriage much more difficult that when I decided to quit.
I often think our standards are different when we're aren't actively drinking. I don't mean in a superior way but in terms of what we are actually prepared to deal with and what we don't let slide.
Gottalife gave an AA perspective but I see it differently.
If your relationship with your kids is different (better) it seems to me that it's just the other side of the same coin that your relationship with your partner will also be different (worse).
It may not be about healing wounds or making ammends, it could be that you have nothing to gain from the relationship anymore.
[Edit: I don't for one second mean to disparage my friend gottalife's opinion and disagree only with the utmost respect].