Originally Posted by Redheadsusie

I know that ah has a serious problem. I know I've given him so many chances that it makes me so codependent and so not normal myself I can't even talk to my friends or my family and that leaves me here. My back went out last Monday so all week long I've been laying on my sofa in deep distress. Every day I managed to walk down the street to where a h lives just so I could see somebody and yesterday when I decided I wanted to spend a little time with him so i went to the garage where he watches TV - so I laid on the sofa with my knees up coykd not even see tv and it was hot and I asked him if he could share his fan with me for a few minutes - I was having such a nice time just enjoying company. He told me no that he would be hot and if I wanted the G damn thing that he would just go outside and to take it and he put the fan on me and left. I was so taken aback I got up and I walked back home and of course he apologized today and said he was so so ashamed of his behavior and he didn't know why he did it. So today we watched a TV show together and it got my mind off of my back and I asked him if I could take him to dinner at the marina because I've been alone for so many days - I drove my new car down there which isn't easy took my pillow and I've told him that I will not have beer in my brand new car I'm so proud of it it's my first luxury car. He walked out to the car carrying an open beer and I felt like I had to just stick to my guns so I said I don't want that beer in here could you put it in a cup and he said Jesus Christ no we're going a half of a mile you need to quit being such a control freak. I asked him to quit being mean and he said I was being mean. So we drove to the marina and I said in the future I've asked you to not have a beer in my car it could spill I don't want it in here it's my car we got to the restaurant he gets out slams the door and walks in this is where all of my neighbors go everyone's my friends- we sit down and he just starts in on me in front of everyone about how this is all my fault I am so horrible no one will ever be with me I said I have the right to ask you not to have an open beer in my car and he said just f*** it Susan just f*** it I said please don't cause a scene in here so he started again and said this was all my fault all my fault so I got up and left him in there. I'm left feeling like I did something wrong. I know the answer I just needed to say it out loud as I Cry I can't talk to anyone else about it. Why would I in any way shape or form think this is ok and normal why?