Another from the UK here mate and up North too - I can relate to much of what you are saying as many others will too.
Waking feeling as you do now is no way to live and there is one way you can put a stop to it, you really don't have to wake up with that feeling again - one thing I have learnt is not to look too far into the future but ensure that I take responsibility for my actions, I can't control what I turn in to and the things I do once I start drinking but I can control it if I don't drink.
Mean what you are saying in those words to your other half tho and do everything you possibly can to work at putting things right one day at a time.
Good luck mate - hope the conversation goes ok but give them space and show sincerity not just pleading for forgiveness- remember actions speak much louder than words.
I'd also recommend joining the September class for support from others at the same stage of recovery as you and there's also a 24hr thread for daily accountability - plenty of support here - stick around and don't be afraid to reach out there's plenty of people willing to help if that's what you want and need.
Look forward to seeing you around.