Welcome Benjamin. I am sorry you are feeling so bad this morning. Drink a lot of water and take care of yourself. Reaching out on here is a great start. If you want to go to a meeting be assured that you don't have to talk if you don't want to and crying is perfectly ok.
I went to my first meeting still slightly drunk. I didn't just cry, I sobbed nearly the entire time. The people at the meeting welcomed me, talked to me and told me I never had to feel that way again. They asked me if I wanted to talk or share anything and I said no. I just sat and listened and cried. Even though I was slightly drunk and crying I was not kicked out and was provided help. As long as you aren't disrupting the meeting you are welcome there.