zoso77

It's been a very long time since I've done an original post. I guess time flies when you're busy living life.

My family is putting the house we grew up with on the market very soon, in accordance with both the wishes of our late mother and the agreement we had amongst us regarding the timing of its sale. While I could conceivably buy my family out, I've opted not to because the house needs a lot of work to get it up to 2016 standards. After a lot of thinking, I determined that wasn't how I wanted to spend my time, or my money.

Short term, I have signed a year long lease for a loft in the next city over. The loft is approximately 1,330 square feet with 16 foot high ceilings, huge windows, and a lovely view of one of our local waterways immediately below. Hardwood floors, modern kitchen including stainless steel appliances, breakfast bar, and granite countertops, large bedroom and a room with a washer and dryer made this an easy decision. If this goes well, I'll look for a similar place to buy next year. I'm certain that my loft over the next year is going to be a place for parties, good times, and good cheer.

Things with my girlfriend have progressed to the point where we are openly discussing our future. We had a ball this summer. But the times when we've had to have a serious talk, we were able to do so without raising a voice, or accusing the other person of something, or really getting angry with each other. We just communicate really, really well. And I think it's because I had four years between my AXGF and my girlfriend that I've been able to look at myself honestly in terms of my strengths and flaws. None of us bat 1,000. If we can recognize that, and recognize that all relationships have to make room for what British philosopher Peter King has called the "accommodation of difference", chances are those relationships -- whether it's with family, or friends, or significant others or spouses -- will be strong over the long haul.

It's hard to believe that I'm closing in on five years removed from my AXGF. What do I feel? No anger. No sadness. No resentment. Just the understanding she is a sick person, and I was her willing enabler for a year. Big mistakes were made on my part. But it doesn't eat at me anymore. She's a faint blip now, and I am largely indifferent as to her well being and her fate.

Selling the family home brings 56 years of history to an end. My parents loved this house. It's seen its share of good times and heartache. Letting it go is not easy.

Then again, I've dealt with worse. As have all of you.

Hope everyone is well.