Hi I think this web site is a huge support for me, again its the talking to someone face to face I just cant do, I have this real phobia about opening up to people. My other half gets really frustrated by this as I don't really want to open up either. It's like getting undressed and taking a walk around the shops. It makes me really anxious, this here on this site is anonymous so I can say things on here in the safety that no one can come to me face to face to discuss it. I do now have a plan in place, I am taking baby steps to 're learn how to live, I have been to the pub a few times for short periods of time and stuck to coke, going out with the other half tomorrow and her parents for lunch so I am driving to avoid the conversation, although I am ok with saying "I don't want a beer, I am taking a break from it".